A fresh jar of marshmallow fluff.  A favorite from my New Jersey youth.

A marshmallow fluff and peanut butter sandwich - called a 'Fluffernutter' - is a delicacy filled with enough sugar to power a small city.

Warning: It is important not to wash down a Fluffernutter with anything too fizzy, like a Dr. Pepper. Marshmallow Fluff is like a super-reactive chemical that tends to explode at room temperature. Fluff and carbonated beverages are a scary experience.

To combat the nightmare of a bad beverage choice, a Fluffernutter paired with a Yoo-hoo is like a prime rib served with an aged Merlot. It just doesn't get much better. Halfway into the sandwich, all of the planets align, dogs and cats stop fighting and God looks down and smiles. It is truly a karmic moment.  Slip in a sip of Yoo Hoo and Nirvana awaits.

You know...a shipment of Yoo-Hoo and Fluffernutters to the location of the Arab-Israeli peace talks could quite possibly change the world.

Heroin for kids...I swear, there have been times I was not at all hungry and still managed to polish off a whole box of these. I have a sneaky suspicion a chemical forerunner of Prozac is hidden in this chocolate and marshmallow delight.

Each scooter pie is individually wrapped in plastic which only adds to the suspense. It's like you have to undress each one before eating it.  Sensual, somewhat sexual, addictive...every young boy's dream.

You can add this stuff to donkey crap and it'll taste better.

The first tip off that this is good stuff is the fact that the label is translated into 5 languages; English, Spanish, French, Thai and Chinese.

I have no idea what goes into this stuff. Hell, I can't enough pronounce the name (Sir ACH ee?) but I do know that this stuff can be added to almost anything and it will taste better. I use it on rice, scrambled eggs, steak, hamburger, chicken, Chinese food, almost everything. I have a sneaking suspicion this stuff can blow the plaque off of the walls my arteries. That and I suspect it can be used to remove wallpaper and grease stains on a driveway.

Yodels, and their close cousin, Ring Dings are like mainlining chocolate into your veins.

It's hard to find these in Indiana and believe it or not, I'm not too upset about it. I love them, but if you eat too many at once, you can actually hear your arteries harden. Hmmm, a little Sirachi sauce...

This stuff is the best! I've been drinking Yoo-hoo since I was a kid. They used to make it close to where I grew up in New Jersey. In fact, my second grade class took a  field trip to the Yoo-hoo factory in Carlstadt, New Jersey. But this had nothing to do with my addiction. It's not like I saw a hot chick there in the factory and I've transferred my sexual attraction for her to my lust for Yoo-hoo. I mean, I was in second grade. And no chick is that hot.

I'm not really even sure what is in Yoo-hoo because Yoo-hoo doesn't contain milk... It's called a 'chocolate drink'  which only adds to it's mystique. I prefer not to think about what goes into Yoo-hoo. It's like watching sausages being made.

Yoo-hoo showed up in Indiana shortly after I moved here. This fact alone is enough to make me believe that God exists and He is a Good and Just God.